21st January Labour party party quite disappointing


Only 48 hours after completing one of the most contentious mid season transfers in the history of politics, Christian Wakeford is already having regrets.

Speaking exclusively to Grace Under Pressure, former true blue and now rabid red MP for Bury South has quickly discoverd that whilst members of the front bench might well all act as if high on E, apart from Kier who likes like he's been on the spice, life in the the Labour party is just no party at all.

"I skipped breakfast and lunch today so as to leave room for the extensive smorgasboard of cheese I've been used to. I cancelled my gym membership on the prospect of having a daily danceathon in the back garden. And what do I discover. There are no afterworks drinking games. There are no lock in's after work. And the only thing cheesy are Kier's metaphorical analogies and similies.!

"I left the Conservative Party because it looked so much more fun on the other side of the house. Now I discover that it was all a front and it really is what goes on behind closed doors that really matters. At my first meeting I thought I was being given a wine list to choose from, but it turns out it was an agenda for a meeting." 

"I first assumed it to be some sort of initiation right, a bit like the one I had to do with that pig's head when I joined the Tories, but no. Thirty other Labour MPs then wandered in and everyone just talked about how it was only a matter of time before we came to power for four hours. Four f%$&&*£g hours!

"Apparently the last Friday of the month is when it all kicks off on this side of the house when shadow cabinet members bring in a selection of home made cakes to share with the minnions. Bit of a change from the daily canapey and caviar bashes of the last 20 months."

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