20th January Mid season transfer from blue to red


Fed up with the view from the cheap seats, member of parliament for Bury South, Christian Wakeford yesterday decided that it was time for an upgrade in order to see the spectacular downfall of Boris Johnson over the next 10 days and so crossed over to the seats on the other side of the House of Commons. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own political pundit, Christian explained his sudden move from blue to red, the equivalent of transfering from City to United mid season.

“Being a Tory MP for the past couple of years has been great. Getting elected, all that Brexit and levellign up bollox and even having the chance to leave Bury. It was such an adrenaline rush I didn't need to bother with any other drugs. And that's not even mentioning all the lockdown parties which to be honest have been just exhausting."

"Then it all got a bit dull. You know winning every vote by a landslide. All my colleagues began to look like Easter Island stautues whereas everytime I looked across to the other side of the Commons well everyone was just going mental, all the time. At one point I convinced I saw Kier Stammer break out into a Peter Crouch style Robot dance."

"So I thought why miss out on all the fun and in the process I actually get to see Boris' face when he blusters, blunders, babbles and no doubt blubs. So far all I've seen is the back of his head. And sitting over here I still get paid the same for the next two years and don't have to do anything that has any accountability attached to it. In fact later this afternoon me and me best mate Angela Raynor are bunking off and are going greyhound racing."

 






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