14th January JVT quits to join MOD


Proving that it is indeed a game of two halves, Prof Sir Jonathan Van-Tam is leaving his role as England's deputy chief medical officer to fulfill a lifelong dream of being a Match of The Day presenter.

Spotted by talent scouts from the BBC, Prof Van-Tam became their number one transfer target in the January window after his stunning performances using colourful analogies and football metaphors to explain complex scientific scenarios during Downing Street coronavirus briefings. This is in stark contrast with Alan Shearer and co who normally use  b&%%£$*s to try to explain football.

With the away team on Sky Sports having given the BBC an absolute battering in the opening 45 mins, the aim of the game will not be not to concede any more goals and hope that super sub Van Tam will be able to snatch a last minute equaliser and a point.

Quite which of the other presenters will be given two yellow cards is open to debate but Ian Wright is already favourite for an early bath.

 


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