13th January Party pooper / popper?

Have you ever struggled to work out the difference between trying to run a country during the midst of a global pandemic and having a piss up in your back garden. Well if you have then your not alone because that muppet of a Prime Minsister Boris 'Phwa Phaw Piffle Tosh' Johnson suffers from exactly the same problem it seems. 

I mean let's be honest it can be difficult to tell whether a line of 30 people wearing party hats, letting off streamers and doing the conga around a garden to a soundtrack of Lizzo's 'Good as Hell' is all about controlling the rate of transmission of the virus or just a giant 'f%$k U' for all those unable to be with relatives as they died.

So from 1pm yesterday, whether your working in a hospital, teaching in an inner city school, driving a school bus or flying a plane, proseco and party nibbles are the order of the day cause its work ain't it. The more people the merrier really as long as you bring your own booze and don't tell the neighbours who probably wont mind as they'll be there too or secretly snapping you from their office balcony!!!!

And as for the 100 or so people who received the e mail, not one of whom thought it an unreasonable proposal in the midst of a severe national lockdown, when everyone one else in the Uk was only allowed to gather within a household or with one other person, well what's the death of 150,000 people compared to ensuring that shit does stick to your teflon coated leader and his legacy is kept intact.

So next time you wander down one of your city streets on an early Friday evening and see drunken louts fighting and barely dressed women struggling to walk in stillettos, just think to yourself 'Oh they must be meeting to calculate how to increase sales figures in the South American commodities market in order to meet expected sales target'. Cause it's obviously a work do isn't it !!!

At the time of going to press a government spokesperson denied once again that any rules had been broken apart from the ones that were, but that those rules didn't apply to people from the Tory party who wanted to party.


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