5th December It's my party and I'll lie if I want too

After what was by all accounts a very Covid secure get together at the Downing Street Christmas party in 2020, this years Christmas bash at no 10 promises to be a real humdinger after organisers have decided to use Gislaine Maxwells 58 page booklet of instructions as a blue print for how their not so conservative bash will proceed. 

With a list of food and drinks that should ensure most of the UK suffers shortages and an assortment of after dinner party games that would make Caligula blush, the question is who will be the first cabinet minister caught being kissed under the baubles.

Getting in the festive spirit, it is rumoured that Jacob Rees Mogg has already sent greetings cards with instructions on how members of the Tory party should pronounced the remaining letters of the Greek alphabet, just in time for the arrival of the new varients during 2022-24. 

Once these have been exhausted it is expected that a crash course in Egyptian hyrogliphics will be presented by never seen in public vaccine Tsar Maggie Thrup, assuming of course she has managed to untangle herself from her Gorgon knot of contradictions after her appearance on Question Time last week.

And with Michael Gove finally confirmed as being in charge of grooves and moves, in the words of Sophie Ellis Bextor, there might well be 'murder on the dance floor'

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