27th December Boris: Not the Messiah, or the message, just the mess.


Having discovered that despite being able to drive a JCB through a blue wall of polysytyrene blue bricks, he is not going to be the saviour of anyone or anything, Boris Johnson has decided to channel the spirit of Jesus by telling everyone that what the world's favoutite Jew wants us all to do at Christmas is to get 'Jingle Jabbed'.

This according to Mr Johnson is the way we can love our neighbour, having discoved that his way of loving his neighbours just ends up with unexpected pregnancies and ever expanding brood of offspring.

Boris also went on to remind anyone still listening to him, that Jesus also told people that they should forgive others their mistakes and intentional lies. Unfortunately biblical scholars were quick to point out that even Jesus' mandate of 70 x 7 would not be enough to forgive all of Boris' misdemenours this year.

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm Boris Johnson's claim that his cheese and wine after work gathering could be put in a similar catagory to a similar gathering Jesus had in an upper room with his office team after a particular strenuous day at the office.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more