18th December Secret Santa has cutting edge

Is it just coincidence that following yet another 'it cant get worse' event in Toryworld, yesterdays Secret Santa resulted in everyone being given exactly the same present, a set of knives. Purchased with no more than £25, each set of stunning sharp knives came with a simple gift tag upon which was scribbled the new Tory party slogan "Stab to save"

A staple of many firms, companies and offices, a Secret Santa usually sees a wide range of gifts being givn as people use their imagination to try and find what they hope will be an appropriate o occasionally very inappropriate gift for a colleague.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, Tory party, sorry work gathering, spokesperson, Bellov Theball, revealed, "After a difficult few months slopping through scandals regarding slease, second jobs, cash for questions, back bench rebellions and then this weeks disasterous election result in North Shropshire, we had hoped that a Secret Santa would bring a little jollity at the end of the year".

"But as it turned out, it was just a big selection of razor edged weapons with a cryptic message reading ‘YOU do it’, which wasn’t what we were hoping for at all. Yet strangely everyone had a sudden twinkle in their eye and said they were sure they’d find a use for their gift.”

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm that this years 'work gathering' will be more secret that last years with various seasonal games including Pin the Blame, Pass the Buck, and Murder in the Dark expected to feature prominently. But we do know that conspirators are advised to mix with no more then 3 other conspirators over the Christmas period.

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