8th November Fish puns in danger of extinction

With Brexit promising to give control back to the UK with regards its terretorial waters, Grace Under Pressure can reveal that a leaked document from the Department for the Environment, Food & Rural Affairs has warned that if current tensions with France and other EU nations remain high, that Britain might run out of fish puns before the end of 2022.

DEFRA spokesperson Halle Butt explained, "It's like a bad bream sequence out of Finding Nemo, with the UK fishing industry sardine-ly perched between a rock and a hard plaice. From what we have been herring, unfor-tuna-tely, most of the seafood-related wordplay has been done to death, quite troutlandishly at times by You Kippers."

"To preseve stocks we just can't afford to cod about and a ban might have to be placed on piscine puns. With regards the recent French proposal on fair fishing, DEFRA will have to mullet over to access the scale of the problem, but initial reports suggest its just a load of pollocks. One unnamed source from the French side of the dispute said it was time for Britain to stop thinking it was shrimply the best and to just cut the carp."

At the time of going to press negotioations look set to flounder with both sides appearing to want to have their hake and eat it.

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