25th November Bruce Willis to blow up an asteroid

In news that is literally out of this world, Grace Under Pressure can reveal that NASA are going to use Bruce Willis in order to knock a giant asteroid off course. 

A Falcon 9 rocket carrying the Dart spacecraft blasted off at 06:20 GMT today from Vandenberg Space Force Base in California. The NASA Dart space craft plans to come within the orbital range of the asteroid called 'Diamorphus' before catapulting Bruce Willis across space with such force as to divert its trajectory.

A former Hollywood heart throb, the 87 yr old Bruce Willis, who has previous experience pretending to blow up a giant meteor in the film Armageddon, is said to be looking forward to his latest and probably last adventure. Having starred in numerous movies that were described by critics as having 'no atmosphere', being 'vacuous' and 'lacking any gravity' Willis appears to be the perfect man for the role.

It is uncertain at the time of going to press whether Bruce Willis will ressurect the persona of his most famous character John McClane from the Die Hard film franchice but the very image of a white vest clad Willis screaming 'Yippee-Ki-Yay, Motherf^%$£r' as he hurtles towards the giant asteroid is one to get even space nerd Brian Cox moist with anticipation.

Bruce Willis is expected to save mankind sometime next summer and I for one am hoping that his heroic act will be accompanied by the soundtrack of Def Leppard and 'Armageddon it'.


 

 




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