22nd November Is Big Sam Manchester's Messiah?


With Manchester's other messiah in waiting, Andy Burnham, admitting he knows bugger all about football, something which ironically should automatically qualify him for the job, Big Sam Allardyce has been quick to promote himself as the Saviour of the Stretford End following the sacking of Ole Gunnar Solksjar

Speaking to Grace Under Pessure's very own festive favourite, Allardyce proclaimed his self generated good news revealing, "I'm not saying that I am the long awaited Christmas miracle the faithful have been waiting for, but I am. Forget about those false messiahs like the Special One and the Ole one, I am the real deal, the cash conceal even the away point steal. Just look at me, I'm gift wrapped, tinsle tied and my baubles are brilliant."

The disgraced former England manager continued, "I only live just down the A6 so it wouldn't cost me a lot to move. In fact I've already got my own account with Pickfords as I've been sacked, sorry I mean moved, so much in my career. Plus I know my way to most of the grounds of any opposition in the Premier league or even championship having managed most of 'em"

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure isn't able to confirm that in order to start his bid with a bang, Big Sam has concealed himself inside of a giant Christmas cracker that is going to be delivered to the Manchester United board room later on today.

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