20th November Patel bans chick pea based snack

In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can reveal that in a shock anti terrorism move, Home Secretary Prit Patel has announced a ban on Hummus. 

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure from on top of her political soap box, Prit Patel revealed "The effect and influence of Hummus has been growing not just across the political landscape of the Middle East where it originated, but also in our supermarkets, heath food stores and kitchens. Now is the time to bring it to a halt".

"The simple, innocent chick pea had been taken, adulterated, beaten,  processed and radicalised into something far more dangerous to western democracy than any other Middle Eastern snack food such as kdameeh, amardeen or tamer." 

"In the recent past it has only been the militant forms of Hummus that have terrorised palettes and been on a government watchlist. These include Chilli Hummas, Garlic Hummus and Dil Pickle Hummus each of which has already exerted a deadly influenec over Gazza....and several other footballers from the late 1980's. Now all contact with and purchase of Hummus will be a criminal offence liable to a heafty fine or custodial sentence."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more