19th November Escape to Wigan derailed

People living in Yorkshire were left devastated yesterday following the government decision to scrap the proposed HS2 and new Northen Powerhouse rail lines. 

In reality is is the cancellation of this latter route that has brought about the greatest heartache, meaning in effect that escape times from God's foresaken county across the Pennines to the Promised Land of Lancashire and its holy city of Wigan are to remain at the current frustratling slow times of 90 mins rather than the proposed journey time of less than an hour.

Local resident Esmie Saunders lamemnted, "For years the government have been promising us a quicker, smoother, more effecient escape route out of Yorkshire. Now that promise has been broken. Planned to come into operation by 2040, it might have arrived too late for me but for my kids there would still be a chance of a better life over the border."

"At the moment we have to pay exhorbitent prices and rely on the current service whch is often cancelled if there is any kind of weather in the area. It's either that or be forced to reply on the illegal gangs of people smugglers who promise to lead people over the High Pennine passes only to abandon them just outside Sowerby Bridge." 

"It's all that's been keeping my family going, the thought of setting foot on that hallowed pier, watching that rugby team and sucking on an Uncle Joe's mint ball. Now thanks to Boris any chance of a brighter, better future in the lang that God truly blessed has just been derailed. "