18th November Lighting up Christmas in November


Hopes of being able to meet any of the targets of the COP26 summit with regards keeping global warming to a mere 1.5 degrees were thrown into doubt yesterday by the switching on of the Christmas lights at no 13 Acacia Cresent, Sherwood.

Designed to come on the moment the light level drops enough to have play abandoned in a cricket match, the festive display has been know to temporarily blinded drivers within a 3 mile radius with its sudden brightness equivalent to a thermonuclear device being detonated.

One concerned neighbour spoke to Grace Under Pressure and explained, "It seems some people's concern about their carbon footprint just disappears when presented with the opportunity to wrap the entire neon content of Las Vegas around their house. Only yesterday Greta Thunberg estimated that Chris Martin and his mates in Coldplay would have to jump up and down on their eco dancefloor from now until 2027 just to off set the electricity that will be used . Especially given that its not even the middle of November!"

"They say it's been installed mainly the 'the benefit' of the local children, but it seems quite ironic that by the time the illuminations are switched off in early January, the future of said children and indeed their children will have been dramatically compromised just to see an illuminated Santa mounting a reindeer".



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