5th October What's App Doc?

Millions of people with nothing interesting going on in their life were left in limbo yesterday, unable to tell people who are not even remotely interested, about the really uninteresting things they have been doing. 

Unable to post picture of what they have cooked at or ordered in a cafe, deprived of the chance to express opinions on subjects they know absolutly nothing about, and prevented from posting their latest preening pouts to an uncaring and often scathing public, life has literally not happened for those stranded in the vanity void created by this latest social media outage.

Incapable of Facegraming, powerless to InstaWhat and helpless without being able to AppBook any of the incredibly dull details of their empty existances, the outage resulted in an unprecedented number of calls to the emergeny services with people unable to cope without access to a virtual world.  Mental health and well being experts are already predicting that the resutant aftercare required for these traumatised individuals will probably prove the straw that finally breaks the back of the already struggling NHS.

And in their final moments, when all of life flashes before their eyes, they might stop to wonder what they were actually doing on Monday 3rd October without a series of digital images, posts and messages to prove that on that day they actually existed at all. Thank God it didn't affect blogging!


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