25th October Even in isolation Sheeran torment continues


Even though he has tested positive for Covid and needs to self isolate for 10 days, Ed Sheeran continues to torment music lovers around the globe by threatening to release more new material from the confines of his bedroom.

In an Instagram post Ed revealed 'Hey guys. Quick note to tell you that even though I have tested positive for Covid, and am self-isolating and following all government guidelines, through the miracle of technology I am still able to inflict more songs on an already troubled world. Sorry.'  

Epidemiologists are still not sure what kind of 'infection' Sheeran has picked up that requires him to release more aural wallpaper even though most people acknowledge its all been downhill since 'The A Team'. Radio 2's go to medic, Dr Sarah Javis, has described this endless stream of Sheeran songs as the greatest threat to the world since the last Kayne West release.

BT engineers are hopefull they will be able to lower a Wifi proof dome over Ed Sheeran's palatial Suffolk residence in a last ditch attempt to prevent any more material from his 4th album from escaping. 

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm the rumour that had Galway Girl been released a decade earlier, US officials are convinced that inmates at Guantanamo Bay would have been willing to confess to anything just to get it turned off.   

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