12th October Pigs and blankets: A Christmas crisis

 

With a shortage of qualified butchers and abatoir staff (do you need a certificate to know how to swing a hammer?) meaning that thousands of pigs are going to be slaughtered (as opposed to just killed for the dinner table) knitters and crocheter's up and down the land are all threatened with the potential prospect of dropping stiches in a moment of porcine panic.

Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, Redetta Castoff explained, "Me and the ladies from the Fellowship Guild have been busy making blankets since January last year just to make sure we have every pig covered. Literally in multi coloured wool of various designs. Now we fear that we might have a blanket overload, which will be an utter swine to get rid off."

"At first we hoped it was just someone telling porkies, you know trying to spin a yarn, just to give us the needle. Maybe one of our rival gangs, 'Pigs in Clover' or our nemesis group 'Happy as Pigs in S%$t'. But when re realised it was true, well some of our stitchers are not just cross they are bloody furious. Anyway I won't boar you to death with our problems as I feel I'm simply casting pearls before swine and you can't make a silk purse, never mind a blanket, from a sow's ear. I just fear Christmas isn't going to be the same this year without pigs in blankets."

 

 

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