10th October Squid Game: A bluffers guide to pretending you've watched it

Here is yet another world exclusive Grace Under Pressure offers a handy dandy guide to the Nextflix sensation Squid Game, for those who have not watched it but who want to pretend they have so as to not feel excluded from social media chit chat on MumsNet.

Just begin by telling people it’s from Japan or China or Taiwan or somewhere like that. Just try to make references to anything else you have ever seen from south Asia without actually giving the game away that you don't even have Netflix. Cultural references to Gangnam style, Battle Royal, sushi, the 1988 Olympic Games and K Pop boy bands like BTS should keep you on safe ground.  If you are desperate say that it reminds you of a Chinese Hunger Games but  without Jennife Lawrence.

 Say it’s all a result of Brexit. Remind people of the Cod Wars of the 1970's, and say that this is a more modern version in which British and French trawler men battle it out to see who can catch the most cephalopods via a series of fiendish challenges.

Stress thats it's a true story just like Godzilla, King Kong, Transformers and the entire Marvel Universe. The actual squid in the title of the show isn't done with CGI bus is in fact played by Andy Serkis in a motion capture suit. Over several episodes Andy shows how the squid engages with other contestants over games of Kerplunk, Mouserap, Buckeroo and Cluedo.

Emphasise how you watched in with your kids. Just Like Strictly Come Dancing, its the perfect program to settle down to watch with the whole family. Expect colourful costumes, amazing twists and turns and several contestants to get eliminated during each show. Or simply say you chuck it on, leave the kids to watch it, then enjoy an hour of undisturbed 'Me' time in another room.

Finally if all else fails just think back to previous occasions when you didn't watch Bridgerton, Normal People or The Queen’s Gambit, because you were too busy working three jobs just to pay your mortgage. Although everyone is talking about it now, it will be irrelevant in a couple of weeks. 

There’s no point slogging through its nine episodes because by the time you get to the end everyone will have moved on. Just blurt out that Seong Gi-hun wins, and Oh Ill Nam was the mastermind behind it all. That will put a quick end to people wanting to chat about it.

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