9th September Aisle remember you


In a scenario that no one saw coming, a combination of Brexit, Covid and England's defeat in the finals of Euro 2021(but mainly Brexit according to all those who have not got over that particular result) has resulted in severe shortages in supermarkets up and down the land. Grace Under Pressure's very own trolley dolly has spoken to supermarket supremo, Toofer One, about the dilemma facing both shoppers and store owners

"Yeah at first it was the usual things that just seemed to vanish from our stores as soon as we put them out, you know stuff like pasta, toilet roll, wet wipes, flour etc. Then we started to notice we appeared to be short on actual baskets and trolleys. Then last Monday three of my check our supervisors were convinced that we were running out of unexpected items in the bagging area. And now this morning well blow me over if we haven't run out of shelves!"

“Normally if someone spills something or there's a breakage I'll be straight on the tannoy quicker than Rylan Clarke Neil to announce, ‘Cleaning Team to aisle 5, cleaning team to aisle 5’ But now because of a sudden shortage of shelves we don't have any aisles anymore. I just have to describe where the spillage has happened in location to the nearest person and hope they don't move before my cleaners find them."

“It’s quite ironic I suppose as we've actually got absolutely loads and loads of stock, just nowhere to display it. Thankfully we have been able to follow the retail model of Lidl and just throw everything together in a big pile in what would have been the middle aisle and just let the customers fight to the death for what they think might be a bargain."




 


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