2nd September Not quite a supermarket sweep


A 57 year old man from Hucknall has just entered his second hour trapped in his local Tescos trying to avoid having to indulge in 'chit chat' with an aquaintance who actually thinks he is a 'bestie'. 

Speaking via a series of silent text messages our anonymous caller who described his situation as being 'cornered by consumerism' revealed how he had been trapped in the pasta aisle for over 40 minutes, whilst having to pretend he can't decide which Italian what based product goes best with a carbonara sauce. Even though he doesn't actually like pasta 

"He’s just taking ages to get round the shop. He going up and down more aisles than Rylan Clarke Neil of Supermarket Sweep. I just can't afford to get trapped and forced to chat to him about people I dont know, films I haven't watched, sports I'm not interested in and holiday destinations I have no intention of ever visiting. Even when you think he's stopped he finds another topic for a 10 minute monologue that makes listening to white noise seem enjoyable."

"I nearly made it out by making a dash for the self check out whilst he was down near the fish counter but I got an unexpected item in the bagging area that set all the alarms off. I had to dive into fruit and veg just to make sure he didn't see me. That was over 30 mins ago. If I don't escape soon I'm never gonna get the stains out of these jeans."




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