9th August Albie Kenny just not that interested in cycling

 

Despite his parent's attempts to cram his name into every single interview, much in the same way American athletes have to cite the name of Jesus as nauseum, Albie Kenny, almost 4 year old son of Britain's favourite bike riding duo, has revealed he's just not that interested in what his mum and dad are doing in Tokyo.

In an exclusive interview with Grace Under Pressure filmed late yesterday afternoon from his home in Chelford, Cheshire, Albie Kenny revealed that he was fast asleep when his parents won all of their medals in Tokyo. "To be honest," said almost 4yr old Albie, "I'm just not that interested in cycling. It's all a bit repetative getting strapped onto the back of Mum or Dad's bike and just going round and round and round and round. They seem to like it but it just bores the tits off me."

"It doesn't really matter whether they go really fast, ride behind a teeny tiny motorbike or in the middle of a huge group of others, it's just dull s ditchwater. And you don't have to pretend to be interested in their medals like me do you? It was alright the first couple of times as basically anything shiney got my attention back then. But once you have seen one Olympic gold medal well in my case you've probably seen a dozen of them."

"And they keep singing that song, you know the one, 'the wheels on the bike go round and round'. It was only thanks to one of the teachers at nursery that I was told it was a song about a bus not a bloody bike. I thought I was going mental trying to work out where the wipers, doors and conductor were supposed to be on a bike!"

"Every day it's the same, come on Albie let's go for a bike ride. Come on Albie let's try to slipstream the other children going to school. Come on Albie let's wear some lycra. All my other friends from play group get taken to the park or zoo or somewhere that's exciting. I get a trip to the Velodrome. I wonder if Sky Brown's parents would like to adopt me?

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