8th August Margaret Thatcher wins postumous Eco warrior award


A petition from mining communities up and down the land has this morning reached almost 60,000 signatures in an attempt to have Margaret Thatcher postumously awarded the unwiting Eco Warrior award for 1985. 

This comes a mere 48 hours after gaff prone Prime Minister Boris Johnson exclusivlely revealed to Grace Under Pressure that Margaret Thatcher was in fact a trailblazing eco warrior back in the mid 1980's even though noone knew about it, not even Boris, until the spontaneous thought suddenly entered his head a couple of seconds before he spoke it.

Now in hindsite her environmental credentials just seem so obvious. Just pacing their images side by side and one is suddenly struck by the similarities betwen milk snatching Margaret Thatcher and school skipping Greta Thunberg. Put her in a tree hut and its amazing how she magically morphs into the eco crusader Swampy. 

According to as yet unconfirmed rumours the sinking of the General Belgrano on 2nd May 1982 was in fact one of Mrs Thatchers first conservation attempts on a global scale by create a sheltered breeding ground for the threatend Patagonian prawn. Closer to home her decision to scrap free milk for school children is now viewed as a visionary attempt to reduced the levels of methane emissions from cows. And one should not forget that although the lady was not for turning, that bouffont of beautiful hair was in fact made from recycled hemp, a trend continued by former US President Donald Trump

Film director Stephen Daldry lamented that the film Billy Elliot would have had a very different storyline if only the writers had only realised at the time the hidden eco seam running through the plot. Songwiter Elton John echoed those thoughts saying that he would certainly have replaced some of the lyrics sugesting that Mrs Thatcher cruelly devastated communities with her brutal decision to close coal mines with more eco friendly themes that would have made his sacharine sweet soppy songs for the Lion King seem like cold callous choruses.

Speaking exclusivly to Grace Under Pressure's very own 'ego' warrior, Hucknall resident and former miner, Ivor Shuvell, revealed, "I guess looking back, the fact that I had my house repossessed and had to sleep for 18 months in the local woods in a tent, really did help me appreciate nature and the benefits of recyling food from bins behind Wetherspoons a lot sooner than most. Thank God Mrs Thatcher offered me that opportunity."

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