4th August A&E braces itself for deluge


As Team GB accumulates even more bling in Tokyo, A&E departments up and down the land are bracing themselves for a veritable deluge of Olympic related accidents as children, and parents who should know better, suddenly feel both inspired and equipped to attempt a 360 backflip on a clapped out Raleigh chopper. 

This follows on from the often repeated advice offered by medal winning GB athletes to those who struggle to even put on a pair of trainers that everyone can achieve their dreams. Dreams that have the potential to turn into calamatous contusions and concussion.


Strains, sprains and seizures on back garden trampolines are predicted to be the major sources of injuries as armchair athletes suddenly find themselves channeling the combined spirits of Bethany Page, the Gadirova twins and Tom Daley, hopefully without the knitting needles.

The British Athetics association is already behind a drive to turn the energy of school bullies into a barrage of bumps, bruises and bangs as they train to kick, punch and pummel in order to win medals and not acquire lunch money. Whilst in a line up of ligament lacerating lunges,  tears, trauma and tears will be triaged as former land loving lads and lassies are thrown in at the deep end in aborted aquatic adventures

Former apathetic parents have suddenly found they have changed their tune with regards their kid's activities which they have previously described as 'just mucking about' after sensing they could be a major reason for a family jolly to Paris in 2024 or even LA in 2028. Covid permitting of course.








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