28th August British athlete banned from paralymics

Team GB were today reeling from the diqualifications of one of its possible gold medal winners when Dobbin was sensationally disqualified from the dressage event for not being as disabled as it had been claimed. 

Channel 4's jockey on the spot, Claire Balding revealed, "Under strict IOC guidelines, athletes can only compete against athletes with similar levels of disability and the paperwork submitted by Team GB had claimed that Dobbin was only very minimally autistic. Unfortunatly when tested under strict IOC conditions it was revealed that Dobbin was very autistic indeed and actually able to draw, paint, sculpt, build, compose, write and even do a little dancing to music. In fact some would say Dobbin had better coordination and could foxtrot better than many of the Strictly Come Dancing contestants. As a result Dobbin has sadly been disqualified from the event and will be turned into glue over the Bank Holiday."

Not wanting to be caught on the hoof by its rivals, Grace Under Pressure attempted to get the truth straight from the horses mouth but unfortunatly we were unable to get a word out of Dobbin. Not even a yeah or a ney!!

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