15th August All united in agreement


With only 90 mins of the Premier League season having elapsed, Manchester United fans from up and down the country, becaue that's where most of them live rather than in Manchester itself, are calling for the current season to be abandoned and United acclaimed champions. After managing to beat a Leeds United outfit that would have been outclassed by most Sunday league sides, the Old Trafford faithful have self proclaimed themselves worthy winners of the one game long season.

Donning their rose coloured glasses with greater synchronisation than the cast of Reservoir Dogs, Sky pundits Gary Neville and Roy Keane both agreed that whilst yestedays display was fantastic, the current crop of players wouldn't have stood a chance against any of the United teams they actually played for. BBC football pundit, Rio Ferdinand, echoed these sentiments '160% Gary' fearing that United's current form will probably last only as long as Paul Pogba's hairstyle / mood. 

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm whether the Leeds team realised the 2 m social distancing rule has been scrapped because by the way they defended and gave Manchester United so much space it appears not.

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