8th July Chris and Patrick jump ship

Following the transformation of Bobby Seagull and Eric Monkman from cult favourites on University Challenge to TV presenters, Grace Under Pressure can be the first to reveal that Professor Chris Whitty and Sir Patrick Vallance are rumoured to have signed a deal with Channel 4 to host a new Saturday night prime time entertainment show.

Having struck up a spontaneous double act co-hosting the governments daily Covid briefings on the BBC, with lockdown restrictions coming to an end, the dynamic duo have seized the opportunity to become the next pair to make the leap from brain box to Telly Box.

Channel 4 spokesperson, Dodgi Content, revealed "Many have thought Chris and Patrick have been the real breakout stars of the whole pandemic, with the nation waiting with baited breath each night to hear the three words everyone who has been isolating has needed to hear..."next slide please.' Together they’ve captured the nation’s heart with their ability not only to deliver absolutely dreadful news and horrifying data with a twinkle of optimism in their eye, but also deal with the bumbling buffoon normally standing in between them".

Unable to offer a Gary Lineker type salary package, the BBC seem resigned to losing two of its most familiar faces. Very few people have successfully make the switch from reporting daily death figures to light entertainment but if any one can do it then Chris and Patrick, The (none) Chuckle Brothers certainly can.


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