25th July Tom's medal hopes take a dive

As the author of this blog recovers from a fit of the giggles following Andrew Cotter's wonderfully dry comments during the opening Olympic ceremony, Tom Daley's chances of winning a medal were hanging by a thread today after Japanese Officials stopped the GB diver as he landed in the country on a charge of attempted budgie smuggling. 

With Japan having some of the strictest custom controls in the world with regards the import of wildlife, Daley has been under the careful eye of officials 'for years' as a supected member of a gang known operating in illegal trade of budgies. 

Thousands of photographs had already been collated together with video evidence of Daley brazenly smugging these tiny, tiny, tiny birds across the world under the cover of being a professional diver. But the damning piece of evidence came following a suspicious 'tweet' as he walked through the nothing to declare channel at Narita International Airport

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own Olympic 'opeful, Japanese customs official, Ima Wannabee, revealed " because he started out so young it is estimated that Tom Daley will have personally been responsible for smuggling hundreds of thousands of budgies across the globe, often half a dozen at a time within a diving single competition. It is not just confining those budgies to such a confined space down the front of his trunks that is cruel, but also repeatedly submerging them underwater that makes him such a tyrant."



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