14th July Sweet Caroline in stadium shock


In a safeguarding case that has rocked the world of football, Sweet Caroline was arrested by police at Wembley stadium after nearly 60,000 witnesses there at the ground and millions suffering on TV accused her of 'reaching out and touching Hans' during Sunday evenings game. 

Quite what Sweet Caroline was doing at the game, remains unclear, but it has been rumoured she had flown in from America having just broken up from her partner, Cracklin' Rosie, who was dressed forever in blue jeans. The presence of Hans at the game also remains a mystery as his home country of Germany had already been knocked out of the competition. Some have suggested he was the Jazz Singer booked for the post match entertainment.

With her love on the rocks (ain't no surprise), Sweet Caroline was seen, apparently drunk on red, red wine, just before kick off, consoling herself with a song sung blue, weeping like a willow. "You don't bring me flowers anymore," one passerby heard her sob into her warm pint of lager.

Police have revealed that Sweet Caroline was already under suspicion having refused to 'Neil' before the game in a stand for equality and inclusion. They believe they have a Diamond hard case against her, so maybe for Sweet Caroline, given the evidence against her, good times might never feel so good again.



 

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