26th June Matt Hancock's wife socially distances herself from hands on husband

In breaking news it has been revealed that there are at least two women who don't think that Secretary for Health, Matt Hancock, is f%$^&*£g hopeless. Well two at the moment although that could be reduced to one quite quickly

After CCTV images showing Matt Hancock in a pasionate embrace with Gina Coladangelo managed to ruin everyones breakfast, Grace Under Presure is as yet unable to confirm rumours circulating around Westminster whether Mr Hancock wore sufficient when attempting to double jabbed her.

When asked for an interview Mr Hancock remained tight lipped which was something he didnt appear to be doing with Ms Coladangelo. An unidentified government spokesman suggested that Mr Hancock was simply attempting to flatten her curves.


Meanwhile Prime Minister and serial philanderer, Boris Johnson is reported to be delighted that potential adulterer, Matt Hancock, is following in his own footsteps by having a bit on the side and it is quite possible that this return to good old fashioned Tory values will actually enable Mr Hancock to keep his job, one that will now be known as 'Hancockery'. Whether Education Secretary Gavin Williamson gets himself a nice bit of totty to allow him to remain in post is the question on everyone's lips

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is able to confirm that Gina Coladangelo has subsequently gone to Barnard Castle to have her eyes tested, which might explain why she was previously unable to follow the government guidelines on 'Hands, Face, Embrace, leave no Trace'.



 

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