22nd June Government give uncivil weddings the go ahead

In a bid to create an equal playing field of misery, the government has anounced plans to give uncivil weddings the go ahead later this year. This will allow couples who have no intention of remaining civil to each other for longer than it takes the ink to dry on their wedding certificate, the chance to do so legally in outdoor as well as indoor settings. 

This follows on from the announcement earlier this week that more than 30 people will be allowed to dance together at a gathering if they are all wearing football shirts, Scottish,totally pissed and think a 0-0 draw is actually a victory. Or if attending a G7 summit barbeque on Cornish beach.

Grace Under Pressure understands that uncivil weddings will involve moments of Bridezilla behaviour before, during and after the service, tantrum throwing flower girls and paige boys, mother/mother in laws trying to upstage the bride with their outfits, the best man trying to cop off with one or more bridesmaid, speeches that go on and on and on, old family feuds being resurrected, arguments over who sits with whom, druken Dad dancing, a fight erupting over nothing and an elderly relative taking that precise moment to shuffle off this mortal coil.

Which to be honest means that uncivil weddings are not too dissimilar from the supposed civil ones.




 

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