15th June Result referred to VAR

Scottish First Minister and part time Krankie, Nicola Sturgeon, has demanded that yesterdays 0-2 result against the Czech Republic should be declared null and void as it did not go the way she wanted.

Scotland's particpation in Euro 2020, which has been described by armchair football fans as a 'once in two generations event', might now depend on whether Nicola Sturgeon can get the result overturned. Failing that she might well demand that the whole thing be done again and again and again until Scotland win or at the very very least don't lose.

Speaking at Holyrood to Grace Under Pressure's tartan translator, Ms Sturgeon revealed “I don’t believe this result is in the best interest of Scotland, of Scottish football, or of my political career and it is clear to me that changing it would be entirely fair. Scotland were assured that should they ever compete in the European Championships, that they would win it at the first attempt by whipping England in the final."

"UEFA’s current position that the result is final and binding is only one opinion and doesn’t serve the Scottish people in the way they or I deserve. Which is why today’s copy of The Daily Record newspaper will be reporting my truth that Scotland won 8-0 and have been given a direct bye to the final, which we will also win."

Meanwhile fisherman at Hampdon were surprised to discover that a strange wee beastie had been caught in their nets yesterday afternoon.


 

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