10th June A right old slapper

Political analysts across the globe are still trying to work out if French President Manuel Macaroon has actually been challenged to an old fashioned duel, albeit without the accepted norm of a glove being used as the instrument of challenge, after being slapped vigerously across the cheek.

CCTV footage intially appeared to have captured Mr Macaroon removing a handkerchief from his pocket to dab his reddened cheek. This has however been challenged by European historians who have interpreted his action of waving a white cloth back and forth in front of his face as an act of unconditionally surrender, something that is part of the French DNA when provoked by any kind of threat.

In an apparent communications mix up, Boris Johnson telephoned Mr Macaroon late yesterday to offer his consolations and to confide that he too has had his fair share of slappers in the past. At the time of going to press, no seats are currently available on EuroStar following a block booking by Tory MP's all heading over the channel in the hope that they too might enjoy a bit of slap and hopefully tickle.



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