17th May Hoodies go into hiding

Hordes of hoodies are reported to have gone into hiding yesterday, fearful of the prospect that over keen and fully vacinated pensioners will take David Cameron's speech from 2006 as a mandate for their lockdown relaxation activities.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very embracable editor, 17 yr old Jason Thomas explained why he won't be venturing outside tomorrow or indeed for the next couple of weeks to be honest.

"It's bad enough trying to escape from my granny, whose been building upto this moment for the past 14 months, but at least she's family," explained Jason, "The mere thought of being harrased by Sanatogen fuelled septugenarians kitted out in tweed and smelling of Brut or lavendar scented Eau de Cologne is pretty scary to be honest. Even for someone like me who is part of a pretty hard street gang"

"People think we have all this freedom but from tomorrow we'll all be back in a voluntary lockdown to escape the canoodles, clasps, clinches, clutches, cuddles and cwtchs that we will be forced into. I think its part of a secret Government plan to ensure that no under 30's head straight for the pubs tomorrow by placing a couple of tactile Terry and Teresa's outside every hostelry, ready to embrace anyone and everyone who dares to step inside."

 At the time of going to press, Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm this cuddle based conspiracy theory but anyone reading this who is less than three decades old...well don't say you haven't been warned.

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