16th May The man whose past is definitely not behind him


The dinosaurs of the DUP have managed an amazing leap backwards in evolution by electing a man who does not believe in fossils. By electing Edwin Poots, the Democratic Unionist Party have elected a leader fit for 2021, one who opposed the signing of the Good Friday peace agreement as well as not agreeing with issues such as Bexit, gay marriage or adoption by same sex couples.  

Rumours reaching Grace Under Pressure suggesting Mr Poots is hoping to base his parties manifesto on policies and practises that are no more than 6,000 yrs old and which were originally written on tablets of stone, could well be scientifically unsound.

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure's very own Plodosaurus, is unsure if the worlds most famous dinosaur based film frachise is to be removed from schools and libraries and visits to the Dorset coast banned as a result of Mr Poot's understanding and belief that the Jurassic time period never actually existed.

When asked why he is a young earth creationist and does not believe in evolution Mr Poots replied that the final piece of evidence occured when someone presented him with an audio recording that perported to be of a pterodactyl using the bathroom. "Only off course," revealed Mr Poots with a smug certainty, "everyone knows their 'pee' is silent."




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