29th April Have I got news for you?

 

In a world exclusive, Grace Under Pressure is the first virtually true on line blog to reveal that Arlene Foster has been forced to resign as leader of the Democratic Unionist Party and as NI first minister after it was discovered that she is actually Paul Merton living a double life.

Many had thought that the tumbleweed drifting across the stage set for the latest series of Have I Got News For You when supposedly humerous asides fell to the floor like lead balloons was due to the lack of a live audience. Today it can be revealed that due to the pressures of living life in lockdown Merton had become so confused as to who he/she/they actually was, that  he/she/they had started to deliver political policy to Ian Hislop and priceless puns to the collective opposition in Stormont.

Whilst suspicions had been raised at the limited frequency with which Arlene Foster and Paul Merton had ever been seen together in the same room, the news of this confusing double life has send shock waves both north and south of the invisible trade borders caused by Brexit.

Having now fully come out of the dressing room / polling booth, 'Paulene Foston' as he/she/they now wishes to be know will, once Covid restrictions have been lifted, embark on a nationwide tour offering political polemics at various British seaside resorts and hilarious stand routines up all along the peace wall in Belfast.

 




News of Arlene Fosters resignation has north and south

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