28th April Duke of Edinburgh replaced

Following the demise of Prince Philip and in a bid to make the monarchy more sexy for the 21st century the Firm has decided it is now the moment for Prince Andrew to step back into the public spotlight as it announces that the Duke of Ediburgh award is to be replaced by the 'Prince Andrew Teenage Reward Scheme', in which Andrew will personally supervise youth pursuits and quite possibly persue youths.

With Charles too old, Anne to stern, Edward too soft, William too bald and Harry not allowed by Meghan, it has fallen to the only Royal standing, one who according to a popular song has already had 10,000 men, to do his bit for the Crown.

Grace Under Pressure understand that Andrew plans to be very 'hands on' with this new venture which will offer badges for tying knots in silk hankerchiefs, how to dress to look older and keeping a secret.

In order to qualify for the Gold award, participents will be expected to share in a weekend of bondage, sorry that should have read bonding, with Andrew and some of his American friends, something that has already totally changed many young lives. At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm whether this may or may not include a trip to Pizza Express but let's not sweat about the finer details.



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